Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
