Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
