I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I didn't shave. On purpose
Say something about gay babies.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
