My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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