Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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