I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize