I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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