My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
we're making bets on your personal life
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I have already put on my inside pants.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
