I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
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