so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
