Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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