weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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