Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
