So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize