ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
