I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
