You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
