You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
