You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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