do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
