does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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