I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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