Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
