grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
