If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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