So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
