I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize