I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
how drunk are you?
Several
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize