im about as happy as oj after his trial
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
