i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Sorry about my life...
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Randomize
