You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Randomize
