I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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