Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
