Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I will be naked everywhere
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
