The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
