Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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