He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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