i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
