Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
If I have put a neon “vacancy†sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
