Can Purell be used as lube?
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
