We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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