I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
I have post one night stand depression
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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