in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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