his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
