babies were throwing up all over the place
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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