we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
