i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize