Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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