5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
