the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
