Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize