Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
