Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
