I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just want to make out with him forever
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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