is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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