Me too!
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
