no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Randomize