I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Everclear isn't food dammit
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
