I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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