if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
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